Being Gay in the 21st Century

When I first joined Hubs, I never considered the fact I would end up writing about gay issues and issues related to being Gay. In fact the issue never crossed my mind, even when thinking about, what could I write about on hubs.Then in the last few days I came across a number of articles by other Hub Authors some I found offensive on a certain level, others interesting and still other's a down right laugh. I then looked further to see what others have written and saw a lot of articles regarding or referring to being Gay, I saw a lot of questions some answers or belives that were facts and some were myths.I have always been a strong believer in Knowledge is power, and lack of information. or the wrong information, is often the cause of fear and hated. So over my Hub time I have decided in between writing about other topics of interest. I will also write specific articles about being gay what it is to be gay, in hope to inform, entertain and answer many questions people seem to be dieing to ask, yet have always been to scared to, or weren't sure how to ask.

I will also do my best to be honest and answer any genuine question's you may wish to ask.

To the right is a questioner in the form of a number of of polls. I would ask that you who read this post answer them honestly. and not to be afraid to do so as non will ( A) know that you even answered them, (B)Non will judge you for your honest answers

I have asked these questions as they in part go to the very heart of topics and issues I will be covering. and answer in turn to those that require an explanation

There are a number of stages a Man, young man, late teen, who believes he is gay gos through. Non of which are easy.The first step is simply coming to terms with the fact you are sexually attracted to the same sex this in itself requires some very deep soul searching many days and nights just sobbing and wishing and praying to be anything but yourself, and not to have the feelings and thoughts you do. In a nut shell to be what society tells us and reinforces to us what it is to be Normal.

One of the leading factors to teens and more so Young men aged 18 to 24 of committing suicide is because he can not comes to terms with his own sexuality, that there is no way out, that his parents will stop loving him if they ever learn the truth, and the only way out of the nightmare is literally to end his own life. In doing so the world loses out big time, we all lose out on the ideas, the unique perspective that, that one young man could bring to the world. We all lose out on that special X factor that no other human in the world can bring, He was and is the only person who could have enriched the life's of all who came in contact with him. I know this all to well, as I myself as a young man was almost another statistic.

I am yet to meet anyone who actually wished to be gay. Hell who would ?, You only have to look at some of the posts and articles on hubs to get an idea of what any one who may be gay potently faces on a daily basis. Yet this is tame compared to many parts of the world. Even in Western society where it is lawful to be gay or lesbian it is by no means easy.

As each day, every day you are coming up against things that remind you constantly of what it is to be different from the perceived large majority of normal people.

Simple throw away comments like "O thats so gay" made famous by Cart man off South park re enforcing that to be Gay is to be something horribly bad. To live in fear as you go through the education system that the other guys who are your mates and class mates will learn your deepest darkest secret and beat the living crap out of you.

If you love kids and always thought as a young boy / young teen of having your own children and then coming to grips that the only way you'll have children of your own is most likely to live a double life and to live a full time 24/7 365 day a year lie. To your wife and children and to yourself. The yarning you feel, the sense of loss and emptiness you have when ever you see a Dad playing ball with is kid. Knowing you shall never have that simple joy.

Broke Back Mountain was a perfect example of this, and while it saddens me that Hollywood feels the need to only portray Gay men in such a sad and negative context. The sadder thing is for many men this is a reality.

Even in a society were it is lawful to be a Gay man. You can still lose your job because you are gay, the only difference now is they will come up with a reason other than the real reason why you lost your job, if you think this no longer happens then you are wrong.

To find out your health insurance will not cover you because of your sexual orientation. again they will find the smallest thing so as not to cover you, simply because you are perceived as a greater risk for being gay man and therefore in their eyes more likely to contract HIV which is known to lead to being Aids Positive.

You have as much choice of being gay as a person does of choosing which ethnic group they will be born into. The only difference is you can see straight away what race a person is, you can not see straight away if a man is Gay.

The only real chose a gay man has at he end of the day is to learn to except and love himself, lead a full and productive life surrounded by those friends and family who love and support him, Or to sentence yourself to a living hell of torment, guilt, grief, self punishment and self abuse through drugs and alcohol or self harm. As you do all you can to lead a double life and do all you can to ensure no one ever learns the truth.

so wheres the up side to being an open and honest gay man in the 21 century ?

The answer is simple. When you have excepted yourself for all your faults and live to be a better person than the day before. You also learn all that life has to offer and you open a whole new world of who you care for and who cares for you and who you sleep with or have sexual intercourse with and how you have sexual intercourse is nobody's business but yours. A man finds true happiness when he can be true to himself and those around him. There will always be people that dislike you, that speck out against your right to live life, that your damed to hell because of who or what you are, but then they also must face the same thing themselves from other people as small minded as themselves only in a different way. Because as my Mum taught me. If people do not like you for who and what you are, then they really aren't worth knowing, as they would never be true and honest friends anyway.